An Elegant Yet Approachable Wedding Full of Chinoiserie in the Hudson Valley

Stanford alums Bonnie McLindon and Philip Tom don’t exactly agree on when they met. “We actually first met in October 2010 when I was a freshman and Philip was a junior. We were both on staff for Stanford Dance Marathon, a nonprofit on campus,” Bonnie attests. “I thought he was so cute and cool, but he’d never be interested in me. So, I settled for being friends. A few years later, Philip told some friends that he met me in October 2011 at a planning off-site for the nonprofit, to which I replied ‘What?! We had known each other for a year by then!’ Apparently, he had no idea who I was.” She concedes, “I’ve known Philip for one year longer than he’s known me.”

There could be no doubt about the proposal, however. It happened in August 2019, with a ring Philip designed around a family heirloom stone. "Philip told me we were having dinner with some friends we hadn’t seen awhile, and I was certainly suspicious,” Bonnie recalls. "We got ready and he said he would meet me at the car. When I came out of the house, he was standing in front of the barn with flowers and Champagne. I walked over to join him—of course already crying—and don’t remember much of what he said. I do remember seeing the ring and being immediately in love with it! Our neighbor, who is a photographer, hid behind a tree and snapped photos of the moment.” They celebrated over a private dinner with more Champagne. 

For their wedding day, they envisioned something “elegant but not stuffy, approachable but unique,” Bonnie says, and searched for a venue they could return to again and again in the future. “When we visited Innisfree Garden for the first time, we both felt an instant connection to the history, landscape, and atmosphere,” Bonnie shares. “It’s a traditional Chinese bowl garden with English manor ruins and Louisiana cypress trees, so it’s representative of our respective cultures. It’s beautiful without being overly landscaped or prim and proper; sort of wild and rambling and contemplative.”

They hosted 180 guests at the venue in Millbrook, New York. “Hosting is one of my favorite pastimes—my bridesmaids all voted it as my love language—so I was hyper-attuned to guest experience and comfort,” Bonnie says. “At the same time, we strongly wanted the day to be for us, so [it was about] striking that balance.”

Read on to see all the pretty details of how they did just that for their August 28, 2021, wedding, planned by Danielle Defreest of Every Little Detail and photographed by Alicia King Photography.

“The stationery was one of my favorite parts of wedding planning,” Bonnie says. “Shayna at Iris + Marie designed a toile print with scenes from the garden and we used it on the menus and throughout the weekend. The suite was full of details about us as a couple, from the place where the paper was made to tiny details drawn into the final design. It felt like—in a world of pre-designed choices—Shayna made us something completely unique and special.”

Rather than your typical bridal heels, Bonnie stayed trued to a brand she loves. “Flats were a must, and my shoes were custom Stubbs & Wootton—my favorites!” she says. “They were a surprise to Philip and my something blue under my dress.”

The moment she tried on her jacquard Rebecca Schoneveld gown, Bonnie knew it was the one. “I wanted the fabric to be the highlight of the dress. I kept thinking, ‘I want my dress to look like curtains,’” she says. “The neckline was so flattering, the skirt was perfectly full, it had pockets, and the color wasn’t quite pure white. I also wanted something I could endlessly eat, drink, and dance in all night!” She opted for a custom cape in lieu of a veil. “I worked with my absolutely brilliant seamstress, Maria Cabrera, to design something. It was so fun to pick the perfect shade of tulle and make it our own. It attached via invisible snaps so I took it off for dancing." 

Each of Bonnie’s accessories carried special meaning: a signet ring with her new initials; I’MMANY earrings made from real dried hydrangeas, her favorite flower; and a butterfly bracelet gifted from the groom that morning. The bouquet held weight as well: Tucked into the dome of white roses and hydrangeas was a single yellow rose. “My grandfather passed away in August 2020. His favorite color was yellow, so I added one yellow rose to my bouquet in his honor,” she says.

Philip wore a custom tuxedo and accessorized with the same studs his father had gotten married in. “Right after Philip proposed, I rushed back inside to grab the Rolex I’d gotten him as his own counter-proposal gift,” Bonnie remembers. “Of course, it made an appearance on the wedding day.”

“As rather private and shy people, we wanted that moment [of seeing each other for the first time] to ourselves, rather than in front of all of our guests,” Bonnie shares. “I also wanted Philip by my side as we made our way to the ceremony—he kept me sane as the rain started and we hit inevitable hiccups.” They posed for portraits in front of their farmhouse barn—right where they got engaged—with their dog, Mowgli, running around the yard. “It felt super natural and not staged."

Each bridesmaid and groomswoman chose her own long black dress, with the maid of honor selecting a style from Anna October. “I wanted a color and look that would be timeless in the photos and pay homage to my mom’s bridesmaids’ dresses, which were black and white,” Bonnie says. “Additionally, I knew it would be easy to either borrow or rent a dress in black, or to invest in one they could wear to many formal events for years to come.”

"There is a Southern tradition of burying a bottle of bourbon one month before the wedding for good luck to keep it from raining. Then, you dig it up and drink it on your wedding day," explains Bonnie. "These photos were taken as we went to take up our bottle of bourbon, which we then mixed into whiskey sours for the wedding party on the bus on the way to the venue."

“We got married under four Asian pear trees in the garden and decided to let the ceremony site do the talking rather than add our own florals,” Bonnie says. 

There was rain on and off all day, but the sun shone for Bonnie’s walk down the aisle with her dad. “We walked to ‘Here Comes the Sun’ because we both love The Beatles; he introduced me to them as a child,” she says. “Little did we know, it would have just stopped raining and the song was a little bit literal—all the more special.”

The couple exchanged antique wedding bands that they found on trip to London in a ceremony officiated by the groom’s brother and best man. The pair also took a unique approach to their vows. “We wrote our vows together, so we said the same thing to each other, a list of promises we were making to one another,” Bonnie shares. 

Their recessional to “Love You for a Long Time” by Maggie Rogers set the tone for the rest of the night. “We wanted to lead everyone right into the party!” 

"Weathering the literal storm in the prep tent with our family and friends [was a favorite moment],” Bonnie reflects. “I was a ball of nerves and one of Philip’s groomsmen just handed me a whiskey sour—it probably saved the day.” In the end, the drizzle made for lovely photos. 

The bar was stocked with all local Hudson Valley beer, wine, and liquor—everything from less than 50 miles away. The signature offering? “A Sloe Gin Fizz,” Bonnie says. “It’s an old Louisiana cocktail made with a local New York spirit. It is one of our favorite cocktails to serve when we are hosting at home.” Guests noshed dim sum served in steamer baskets—dumplings, scallion pancakes, and ahi tuna bites—along with their drinks. 

The couple’s biggest wedding DIY was collecting more than 60 unique ginger jars over the course of two years to be used in the day's décor. “Estate sales, Etsy, eBay—it was a labor of love,” they share.

Décor under the sailcloth tent reflected the chinoiserie vibe of the ginger jars. “Linens were a gorgeous blue-on-white embroidered pattern,” Bonnie describes. “We kept flowers simple but elegant with all white, emphasizing local hydrangeas." She adds, "I just had to have a disco ball over the dance floor.”

The couple doesn’t often seek the spotlight, “so, we cut out things that felt like a performance or just not ‘us,’” Bonnie says. “We didn’t announce a cake cutting; we just sort of snuck off to do it ourselves. We didn’t announce our first dance; we just joined people on the dance floor and enjoyed it. We didn’t do an announcement as we entered the tent; we just walked in and felt like guests at our own party.”

There technically was a first dance to “Wagon Wheel” by Old Crow Medicine Show that took place under Bonnie’s beloved disco ball. "I had a second dress for the reception, but loved my dress so much that I never changed!” Bonnie says. Guests hit the dance floor and, late night, filled up on fried oyster po’ boys—a fitting sendoff for the newlyweds before their honeymoon on Nantucket.