What to Write in a Bridal Shower Thank-You Card, According to an Etiquette Expert

It's important to express your appreciation in a timely and appropriate way.

pink-toned thank-you cards with script writing

Courtesy of Etsy/PapeInCo

As far as pre-wedding events go, the bridal shower tends to be one that most women (and female family members and friends!) look forward to most. It's a time when the most important women in a bride's life come together to celebrate this next phase in her journey and help prepare her for marriage by giving gifts and advice. If your loved ones recently threw a bridal shower in your honor, it's time to show your appreciation to everyone who helped make it special. The single best way to do this? By sending each bridal shower attendee (and those who didn't attend but sent a gift) a personalized thank-you note.

Since we know that writing a thank-you card isn't always as easy as it seems, we asked etiquette expert Dianne Marsch to share her words of wisdom. Here, she provides general tips for writing thank-you notes as well as guidelines for when and how to send them. And if you feel like you might need a little more help than that, Marsch even helped draft example thank-you notes for different scenarios, which you can then personalize on your own.

Meet the Expert

Dianne Marsch is an etiquette expert who runs the Etiquette School of Manhattan.

Ahead, everything you need to know about writing an etiquette-approved bridal shower-thank you note.

What's the Purpose of a Bridal Shower Thank-You Card?

A bridal shower is a live event, so while there is an opportunity for the bride to thank guests for being there in person, Marsch says that sending a thank-you note is necessary as it shows an even greater level of gratitude and appreciation. Your thank-you notes should express your gratitude not just for joining the party and celebrating this next phase in your life, but also for any gifts you received. Last but not least, you'll want to write an extra-special thank-you note to the events hostess (or hostesses) for organizing the day.

What to Write in a Bridal Shower Thank-You Card

Your bridal shower thank-you notes should be personalized, heartfelt messages, so do what feels organic to you. Ultimately, though, there are a few key points you should hit, which Marsch outlines below.

Chose quality over quantity.

Bridal shower thank-you cards don't have to be long. "A thank-you note can consist of just a few lines to several paragraphs," says Marsch. She adds that close friends and relatives should get longer notes with more details: "An example would be thanking an aunt who spent many hours sewing a quilt in your favorite colors. The thank-you note should express all the time and love that was put into making it."

Keep thank you cards personal.

While thank-you notes don't have to be long, they should be personal and tailored to the individual. "Always mention the gift by name and why you are so delighted or happy to have received it," shares Marsch. "Also how it will be used is a nice added thought to include depending on the gift." For example, if you received a picture frame from a close friend, include some ideas of the types of pictures you might display in it.

Focus on the thought behind the gift.

If you don't love a gift, don't fret. Just focus on the thought behind it. "If there is a gift that you may not enjoy receiving, you are still expected to express your sincere appreciation for the thought and effort from the guest and for attending the shower," she says. "Remember, whatever the gift, whether a gift of their time, talent, or other, should be acknowledged through a thank-you note of how their gift brought happiness and their kindness sincerely appreciated."

If given cash, share how you'll use the gift.

"In the rare instance that someone should give money for a shower gift, it is optional whether to include in your thank-you note the amount, but you should definitely share how it will be spent," explains Marsch. You can talk about using it towards buying something nice for your new home or your honeymoon.

Bridal Shower Thank-You Card Examples

Need a little more help? Marsch helped us pen a few bridal shower thank-you card examples for a variety of different examples, which you can use as a jumping off point.

What to Write When a Guest Bought a Gift from Your Wedding Registry

Dear [name],

It was so kind of you to gift me the wine glasses I always wanted. I look forward to many happy nights drinking from them, and I know they will bring me much joy in my new home. It was also so lovely to see you at the bridal shower. You added to the fun, and I will always remember that day with you. I look forward to seeing you soon for more wedding festivities.

With kind regards,

[name]

What to Write When a Guest Bought a Gift Not from Your Wedding Registry

Dear [name],

It was so thoughtful of you to give me that handmade quilt. I love that it is made in my favorite colors, and I know it will look beautiful in my new home. I can feel all the love and thought you put into it, and it is much appreciated. I'm looking forward to celebrating with you at my wedding.

With kind regards,

[name]

What to Write When a Guest Sent a Gift But Didn't Attend the Bridal Shower

Dear [name],

Thank you so much for sending me the beautiful vase. It is going to look lovely in my new home, and I can't wait to fill it with fresh flowers. I missed you at my bridal shower, but I appreciate you thinking of me during this happy time. I'm looking forward to celebrating with you at my wedding.

With kind regards,

[name]

FAQ
  • Who gets a bridal shower thank-you card?

    Thank you cards should be sent to anybody who sent a bridal shower gift, whether they attended the shower or not. Anybody who was involved in hosting or organizing the event should also receive a note of appreciation.

  • Do I have to send a bridal shower thank-you note if I opened the gift in person and thanked the giver at the party?

    Ultimately, the answer is yes. "Shower gifts are [often] opened in front of the giver, and your gratitude should be shown immediately. Many feel this personal display of appreciation eliminates the recipient from having to write a thank-you note," she explains. "But good manners always dictate that a sincere thank-you note should be written to each guest who gave a shower gift, and a specially worded thank you note should be written to the host or hostess of the event."

  • Should I send bridal shower thank-you cards in the mail or via email?

    Marsch says thank you cards should always be printed and mailed. Some brides even like to go all out and send thank you cards on engraved stationery or stationery that matches the bridal shower theme. While that is fun, it is not necessary. "Plain notepaper, single sheets, or folded notes with matching envelopes are very nice and much less expensive," offers Marsch. "It is never acceptable to use pre-printed thank you cards."

  • When should I send a bridal shower thank-you card?

    "Wedding shower thank you cards should be sent within the week following the shower," says Marsch. You don't want to wait before expressing your appreciation. Also, you'll have other wedding-related tasks to do, so it's best to get these completed and out of the way!

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